$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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