Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
