Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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