Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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