WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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