Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
the gays at disneyland are vicious
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
