my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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