I didn't shave. On purpose
even my farts smell like vagina
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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