9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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