It's like a parade of train wrecks.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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