This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
