Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
