id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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