i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
