Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize