4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
