Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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