dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
