there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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