i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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