Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize