You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
