Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
