I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do vagina's smell?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
