I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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