with your own penis?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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