Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
