You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
