Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
