Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
