i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize