Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
