New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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