the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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