Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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