I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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