Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
