We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
