hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Barsexuality is the new black.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
