I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
