i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
