Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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