There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
