Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize