Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
