mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just google imaged poop.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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