what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
