i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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