she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
