He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
