He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I enjoy the company of your penis
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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