We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
