Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
All the doctor said was why
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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