I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
