I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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