Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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