he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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