ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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