I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
