i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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