Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize