The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
