Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
