Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
