But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
