But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
